March 27, 2022: May God’s words be spoken, may God’s words be heard. Amen.
So, today we have the gospel story in which Jesus tells the parable of what is usually titled “The Prodigal Son.” Now, I have to say, I hated this story growing up, and perhaps some of you did too. It just seemed grossly unfair. The youngest son demands something that should not yet be his (his dad still being alive and all), then there is his wasteful extravagance that led to his squandering all of what was given to him, and then it is really hard to tell if he is actually repentant on his return as many assume, or conning his old man once again – the text never makes that clear. I have my doubts, to be sure. And then there is the fact that dad never goes out to the field to let the older boy know what happened, yet expects him to celebrate this return of his younger brother – the one who squandered his inheritance, while the older stayed and helped to sustain the family by his hard labor. I mean, the guy has a point, right? Talk about your dysfunctional family dynamics!
But let’s step back a moment to see why Jesus tells this annoying parable in the first place, and maybe – no promises or anything – but, maybe it will begin to make sense for us. First thing to notice is that we have missing verses. Remember I have said before, it may be what we don’t hear that we should pay attention to. So, we have verses 1-3 of Luke 15, then we skip to verses 11b-32. Why?
Well, because verses 1-3 are the set up for all the rest, and the part missing is the first two parables Jesus tells. This is the third part of a three parable response to the Pharisees and Scribes disdain for the way Jesus hangs around with “tax collectors and sinners” who had come to listen to him. As they put it “This fellow welcomes sinners and eats with them.” Then Jesus tells them three parables: The parable of the lost sheep, the parable of the lost coin, and this one – the so called parable of the prodigal son, prodigal being a word for wasteful or extravagant. One of these two is not like the other, which makes this one so very hard to hear.
In the first two, it is clear that God’s grace is for all, even those who are lost, or perhaps especially so for those who are “found” – who return to relationship with God. We don’t seem to have the same feeling about the other sheep or about the other coins as we do about the older brother, do we? There is a sense of unification when the coin or the sheep is found and brought back to the others.
Yet in this story, we are left without that sense of unity, of right relationship restored, of rejoicing by all. Someone is left out – by his own will, or perhaps by the relationship with his father being just as broken, but not in as noticeable a way, as that of the younger. One is restored, but the other is not. There is still work to do.
The thing is, this is a story about relationship – well, really – all of the parables Jesus tells in response to the comment by the temple leaders are about relationship – about how love works – God’s love most of all. But unlike the parable of the sheep and the coins, this one is also about conflict, brokenness, restoration, misunderstanding, and all the other things that are a part of any group dynamic – be it a family, a workplace, or even a faith community.
It is also an ancient story, not original to the gospels, but known to the Hebrew people for ages before, and to many other cultures and traditions for centuries. Even today, it is a common theme of classic literature and other creative works in film and TV – this motif of sibling rivalry or favoritism, of concerns over inheritance and property rights, of love and hate, forgiveness and redemption. And in many of those cultures, in other times or settings, the father is not always looked on with favor – quite the opposite – and the eldest is the one receiving compassion, not the youngest, by the reader or viewer.
So, what are we to do with this parable today – what meaning does it have for us now?
I think we need to stay in the untidiness of the conflict, in the mess of the dysfunction. Too often we, like the Pharisees and Scribes, try to create order by deciding who is in and who is out, who is right and who is wrong. Life just isn’t like that – it isn’t black and white – usually we walk amidst the tension and uncertainty of the gray areas. That can make us uncomfortable and even angry.
We want there to be a right choice and a wrong one, good guys and villains, and we, of course, always want to be the good guys making all the right choices. In fairness to the Pharisees and Scribes, so did they. They were good and faithful servants of God trying to live rightly according to God’s law.
But that is maybe where we get all confused – in trying to sort it all out – in trying to find the right way and the wrong way. Maybe instead we should start with what our Presiding Bishop, the Most Rev. Michael Bruce Curry, likes to say “If it’s not about love, it’s not about God.” That is so very true, and I think we all know that love is about relationship – and relationships are often messy, because relationships, human ones anyway, are filled with imperfect people who will make mistakes, who will try and fail, who will not live up to expectations – of others, or of themselves.
And so we get a very messy story here in this, what I would re-title as the Parable of the Dysfunctional Family. There is no happy ending, at least not yet. The brothers are not reconciled one to another. The younger one may be outwardly happy – having been restored into grace by good old dad – but dad won’t be around forever. What will happen then?
Remember that everything would then belong to the older son. Are they destined for a final conflict when their dad dies, or will each find a way to restore relationship before it is too late for either of them? We don’t know the answer to that, but we do know there is still much more work to do, just as there would be for followers of Jesus who will be around after his death, resurrection, and ascension, along with the Pharisees and the Scribes, and all the rest of humanity.
And while this story can lead to fascinating discussions, or even the great beginnings of a play or novel, as it has been through the ages, we are left to consider what it means for us today.
What are we to do amidst division, conflict, pain, and brokenness?
How will we respond to the ones who left us, who wronged us, who misunderstood us, who committed acts that hurt us or those we love?
These are questions we are all wrestling with in ways large and small, because we are living in a world filled with division, hate, anger, and brokenness. A world where the church for many centuries were very much like the Pharisees and Scribes of this story – viewing some as not worthy to enter our doors (or at least to worship with people not like them). Do we not have a history of racial segregation of our parishes, exclusion of LGBTQ+ people, denial of the call of women to serve in all areas of the church? Ahhh, we should not then point fingers at others like those whom Jesus is addressing then, should we? For we have been the younger son squandering the love and grace of God on ourselves.
So, perhaps we need to consider how we might respond to all that is happening in our hearts, and all around the world?
How can we be the reconciling bridge of unconditional love?
How can we begin to really see the ones feeling isolated, unloved, unappreciated, or unwanted?
How can we see where we have wronged and seek forgiveness?
How can we forgive those who wronged us?
These are not easy questions.
In the abstract we all hope to be forgiving, without sin, and overflowing with love and grace. But once it becomes real to us – and oh how real it is right now – things get messier, harder, and nuanced. We enter into that place we don’t want to be – where there are no easy answers, just a lot of possibilities. It leaves us sometimes feeling like we are faced with that old Yogi Berra favorite “When you see a fork in the road, take it.”
But looking back at this crazy story, we find a way forward – and it isn’t about either son. It is about the father. Now – we have to remember, this is not a 21stcentury story, but an ancient one. We look on dad as being totally awesome – they did not. He comes across to those listening to Jesus, and to many for centuries before that, as a man willing to make an absolute fool out of himself for one thing – to bring his family back into loving relationship. He doesn’t care that it is undignified to run out to greet his son, or for that matter, that he was fooled by his younger son not once, but perhaps even twice. He is willing to sacrifice his honor to try to keep the family together. Imagine if, in all the spheres of our daily lives, we did the same?
If we took a risk to restore relationship within our families, our work places, our churches, our world?
If we worried more about relationship than about being right?
If we celebrated union with one another, rather than exploiting division?
Now to be clear – I also want to point out that it is far easier to do these things when you are in positions of power – as that father clearly was, and doing them when that is not the case has a far different meaning.
For far too long, women were supposed to keep quiet or were expected to sacrifice their own self-worth to ensure others were happy.
For far too long, people of color were expected to be reserved and measured in response to outright racism lest they be seen as angry black men or women.
For far too long, lesbians and gays were expected to sacrifice their own celebration of love, so that straight folks could feel more comfortable.
For far too long, people of other cultures in these United States were expected to take a back seat to the other immigrants of this land – the white Europeans – because only their culture mattered.
This is NOT what this story is asking of any child of God. That is not what love looks like. That is not what relationship with one another should ever be about. That is exactly what Jesus was preaching against – the idea that some are more worthy of love and grace than others.
So how are we to know what to do – what path to take – because in some weird way Yogi Berra had it right… the forks in the road of life we face on a daily basis do not always have clear indicators of which to take. It isn’t like we live in those horror movies where we KNOW that the character is making the wrong choice to go down into the basement alone at night to check out a sound they heard, rather than leaving the house and calling 911. I mean – who does that really?
So maybe it is that question – how do we know how to move forward, what to do, that makes this narrative perfect for this time in our lives as followers of Jesus, because we need a chance to step back and consider the paths that lay ahead for us. And, Lent is a season of reflection, of preparation, and of discernment. It is when we strip away comforts and the familiar, as we do in this season of Lent, that we may begin to see where we have fallen away in our relationship with God, with one another, with ourselves.
It is a time when we seek the path to fullness of relationship.
It is when we, like the younger son, go home.
It is when we, like the older son, face our anger at what is, and our disappointment with ourselves, with others, and yes – sometimes even with God.
It is when, with the world in the chaos of war, with violence in our streets, with pain and brokenness in our hearts, we seek what has been lost to us too – as the father of our story.
It is when we, as followers of Jesus, come to see that relationship with God is filled with hard choices – between holding on to what we think we know, what we think should be, what we want of others and of God – and letting all of that go to focus on only one thing – a relationship of love with God and one another.
Our story begins “there was a man who had two sons…
Who are you in this story now?
Likely, you are all three depending on who the others are in that narrative of your life.
May this Lent be a time when we are able to recognize where we are all of them – where we are the lost and the broken, the forgiving and the forgiven, the angry and the joyous. Because only when we can see ourselves plainly can we begin to move out of our own dysfunction into restoration and wholeness with God, with one another, and perhaps the hardest of all, with ourselves.
Amen
For the audio, click below, or subscribe to our iTunes Sermon Podcast by clicking here (also available on Audible):
The Rev. Diana L. Wilcox
Christ Church in Bloomfield & Glen Ridge
March 27, 2022
Lent 4 – Year C
1st Reading – Joshua 5:9-12
Psalm 32
2nd Reading – 2 Corinthians 5:16-21
Gospel – Luke 15:1-3, 11b-32
